i get caught by a teacher for cheating in the exam,
that moment left a deep scar in my memory,
since that day,
i changed.
i realize,
being lazy and stubborn bring me nowhere..
i change the way i think, and treat everyone as my enemy.
i struggled.
i studied damn much.
i hide myself in the room.
hugging books most of the time.
when i was in form 5,
i felt like i was already not the real wilszen.
i started to lose my self-confidence.
i rarely communicate with my friends.
keeping myself shy.
as time goes by,
spm goes nearer,
my daily company was books.
till spm reached,
i answered it well and carefully.
i had been worrying about my result for the next two month.
oo.thanks god.
at last,
the result was announced.
and i obtained great result.
i felt quite happy at that time,
as i thought that my life after this would turn to be greater.
at this second,
when i was typing this passage,
i feel like everything i had done had actually comes to no avail.
stupid me..
i shouldn't be expected the world would be so wonderful.
i was so naive.
i felt so ashamed of myself.
i shouldn't believe things called matriculation, upu, mrsm or whatever else.
they are just a lie for me.
i didn't gain any benefit studying in mrsm.
duh.
our country is just too unfair.
haha.
i laughed to myself.
what the hell is happening to me?
everyone is telling me that i could go anywhere great by this result.
even the head of a school said that i don't have to register for stpm as i will surely not staying here and leave for another better place to study.
oh gosh..
look now.
what had happened to me?
erm..still a candidate of stpm..
oh my.
if i realize such thing would happen,
i wouldn't keep dreaming about study in australia..
get lots of scholarship..
experience a new life that i have never been through..
my dream is gone..like 'poof'...
the world is destroy..
haiz..
stpm..here i come..
i hope that u will welcome me...
bye university..
hi stpm..
